Fw: Falling in love with purposeful pain

--- On Thu, 10/11/18, Mridu Khullar Relph <mridu@theinternationalfreelancer.com> wrote:

> From: Mridu Khullar Relph <mridu@theinternationalfreelancer.com>
> Subject: Falling in love with purposeful pain
> To: jlcmedia2016@yahoo.com
> Date: Thursday, October 11, 2018, 10:26 PM
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> Last week, I signed up for a weight training
> session at the gym. It was my first time doing weights and
> while I've been increasingly interested in training in the
> last year (rowing being my current drug of choice), I
> didn't really know what to expect.
>
> An hour later, I was absolutely smashed. The
> next day, I woke up and could barely walk. There were sore
> muscles in my arms and legs that I didn't even know
> existed and they (and I) screamed out in pain.
>
> But you know something?
>
> Not once did the thought even cross my mind
> that I wouldn't go back for my next session. Never was
> there a moment in the day that I was upset that the trainer
> had pushed me hard. In fact, every time I spoke to my
> husband about it, I gushed about how much I loved the
> trainer and how glad I was that I'd finally found someone
> who would push me the way I liked to be pushed, who could
> take my upper limits and stretch them beyond what I could
> even imagine. I had expected the pain, even wanted it. Had I
> not felt the pain or the push, I would have come home
> convinced that it didn't work. The pain was proof that the
> effort I was putting in was WORKING. It provided evidence
> that I was GROWING.
>
> The pain of working out or challenging
> yourself physically is not a pain that is endured for the
> sake of pain. It is purposeful pain.
>
> Tomorrow, I have my next session. The pain
> from the last session has just about subsided though there
> is still an angry purple bruise on my leg from where I
> smashed a dumbbell into it (stupid, stupid). I'm not
> expecting that hour in the gym tomorrow to feel comfortable
> or easy. But I'm going anyway, willingly and with
> excitement, not because I'll enjoy how I feel during that
> one hour, but because I know how incredibly happy and proud
> I will feel at the end of it. And because I've already
> grown and beaten my personal best in the last session,
> it's not going to be half as painful the next time around.
>
> Are you seeing a parallel to writing yet?
>
> When we go to the gym, we all understand that
> growth will involve pain. When we sit down to write, we
> forget that all growth—mental and emotional
> included—involves pain, too.
>
> When we exercise, we understand that taking a
> break from the routine will make it harder (and more
> painful) to go back, and yet, we forget that the same
> applies for that novel, that longform narrative, and that
> essay, too.
>
> When we run, we know that once we start,
> it's literally about putting one foot in front of the
> other until we're done. And with writing, it's no
> different. You write one word, then another, and keep going
> until the timer goes off or the chapter is finished.
>
> When we challenge ourselves physically, we
> expect the initial days and weeks to be difficult. But when
> we write, we expect it to be easy. We expect it to be
> comfortable. Isn't it crazy that when we fly through an
> hour of writing, we call it a good writing session but when
> it's uncomfortable and has led to growth, we feel pained
> and full of angst and often beat ourselves up for not having
> done enough?
>
> You know why this is?
>
> Because we've been trained to believe that
> word count is a marker of success. That if you write more
> words in a session, it is a good writing session and that if
> you write fewer words, it's not. Now don't get me wrong.
> You can be in a state of flow, pump out 7,000 fantastic
> words in three hours, and be very proud of yourself, as I
> routinely do. When this happens, you feel like you've won,
> just as if you'd run a marathon. When you arrive at the
> finish line, despite the exhaustion, you feel damn good
> about yourself.
>
> There SHOULD be pleasure in the writing
> process, otherwise why would you be doing it? Just as there
> should be pleasure in fitness or you'll never stick to it.
> But just as with any kind of athletic activity, there is
> often pain and growth (of a different kind) involved in
> writing. When athletes feel pain, they lean into it further,
> knowing when to rest and when to push harder. But writers
> often retreat. The pain of not finding the right phrase or
> having to sit with an uncomfortable emotion or knowing that
> the last book didn't sell scares them and makes them think
> it's not working.
>
> Athletes understand incredibly well that in
> order to achieve the result they want, they have to fall in
> love with the process. But writers often don't. Writers
> will frequently—with a straight face!—claim to "hate
> writing but love having written." Show me a writer who
> hates writing and I'll show you a writer who is much too
> focused on the result. The athletes who fall in love with
> the grind are the ones who succeed eventually. And the
> writers who show up day after day, enjoying the writing,
> loving the work, pushing and challenging themselves even
> when the result is nowhere near in sight are the ones who
> become the "overnight" successes that everyone dreams
> of.
>
> Despite the fact that my first novel hasn't
> yet sold, I can tell you, without question and with no ego
> attached, that I will be successful in my efforts and that
> my novels will be published and read.
>
> Do you know why?
>
> Because I'm in love with the process. And
> people who're in love with the process keep showing up day
> after day until it works. And forever after.
>
> Cheers,
>
> Mridu
>
> P.S.
> ISN'T IT TIME YOU FINISHED YOUR NOVEL?
>
> 4 future bestselling authors.
>
> 12 weeks.
>
> Working PRIVATELY with two writing coaches
> (and working writers) by your side, 1:1. Kicking your ass
> and revving you up to high gear so that you can stop
> thinking about it and actually get it DONE.
>
> Work with Sam and me (Mridu!) personally to
> get true
> clarity on what your novel is about, learn how
> to use that clarity to remove the blocks
> and release your story so that you can write
> better, faster, with flow, and finally, craft a vision for
> your book that shows agents and
> editors exactly what you're writing and why
> they should care.
>
> Writers we've worked with have gone from
> spending years fumbling around with a book that they wanted
> to write but had no idea how to finish, to falling in love
> with their writing and being able to see a clear path
> forward in their careers.
>
> We don't mess around and we don't waste
> time.
>
> Bullshit is
> released and cleared from the VERY first day.
>
> Clarity and purpose
> is at the core of everything we teach.
>
> The work you do
> here will help you not just finish this one book, but see
> how easy it can be to write multiple books and launch a
> career.
>
> This is a fully 1:1 program with FULL
> unlimited access to us. We want you to be able to call us
> THE MOMENT you get stuck, so that we can figure out what's
> holding you back and fix it straight away, so that you're
> not spending days in the quagmire of resistance and
> procrastination. PLUS you will get 12 weeks of structured
> training, where we will give you step-by-step guidance on
> which things to tackle, what questions to answer, and how to
> approach the book so that you can STAY TRUE TO YOUR VISION
> and still write a book that readers absolutely love. And of
> course, we kick your arse so that you actually get it done!
>
> By the end of 12 weeks, you will either have
> a finished
> manuscript or a very clear idea of how to get there
> (if you're writing a long, complex project that needs more
> time).
>
> This program is the culmination of years of
> struggle that I experienced writing my first novel and the
> process I've been using to finish my second, as well as
> work on screenplays and shorter fiction.
>
> Email me NOW if you know
> you need in, and to have us personally work with you to get
> that novel finally finished and ready to be released to the
> world.
>
> I'll send you a short weekly breakdown and
> written overview and we can talk about whether it's the
> right fit for you.
>
> To be clear:
>
> - The program starts on November 1,
> 2018. Just in time for NaNoWriMo!
>
> - We're only looking for four
> people for this current intake.
>
> - We'd love to work with everyone, but our
> criteria for writers who enter this program is that we need
> to love the concept of your book and believe that you
> are serious about finishing it.
>
> - We're looking for ambitious writers who want to
> reach the highest levels of success. The idea is to
> create a supportive community of future bestsellers and
> award-winners who want long-term novel writing careers.
>
> We've created this private mentoring
> program to not only help writers finish novels they've
> been stuck on for a while, but also to help them see that
> writing a book doesn't have to be a long, laborious, and
> painful process.
>
> In fact, my second book has been written with
> fun, flow, and ease. And it's been such a revelation to
> me. I will never again spend more than a year writing a
> novel, and I'm on a mission to show other writers that
> they needn't either.
>
> If you're committed to finishing your book
> and want us by your side helping you to GET ACTUAL RESULTS
> and not just talk about how it's possible, message me and
> let's get you started.
>
> We'll show you EXACTLY what to do and
> EXACTLY how to do it, with complete access to the process
> we're using to write our own books and screenplays, so
> that you can get it right from the beginning.
>
> You know it's time to get the damn thing
> written. So the only question is: What are you waiting for?
>
> Hit reply on this
> email and let's talk.
>
> HERE'S
> WHAT ONE OF OUR CLIENTS HAD TO SAY:
>
> Dan Higgins
> Assistant Professor
> of Journalism, Canisius College, Buffalo, NY
>
> When the summer began, I had put away my
> first attempt at a novel and thought I was looking for help
> for a new project. [Sam and Mridu] not only perfectly
> understood the problems I was facing, they could relate to
> them and cared about them, too. I've had
> professional coaching before—some excellent and some where
> I didn't connect with my coaches. Once we began speaking,
> I knew right away that I felt a professional connection
> here.
>
> The most surprising and useful coaching came
> from the video series, in which [Sam and Mridu] break down
> how to write a novel with a feeling of clarity. There were
> many moments in the web tutorial where I stopped and
> re-listened to practical and artistically sound bits of
> advice that made me say, "a-ha."
>
> When I started the coaching program, I had a
> vague premise and a batch of characters I had been writing
> about for years, but with no real direction or ending. I
> couldn't articulate or envision my novel. Today, a few
> months later, I am well on my way to completing a new draft
> that is clear, enjoyable to write, and represents the best
> fiction writing I've done in my life.
>
> When Sam promised he was always available to
> help, he meant it. His openness
> and availability exceeded my expectations. Even
> though he's in the UK and I'm in the US, he always made
> time for me to check in with him, use him as a sounding
> board, and get great advice. I wish I had taken him up more
> on these informal meetings, but the program is so complete
> it leaves me with little else to do but sit down and write.
>
> If you were deciding whether to make an
> investment in your work through this coaching program, I
> would urge you to ask yourself if you're ready to get
> something done. If
> you're done thinking about your work as an abstract
> concept and long to see something finished on the page, then
> I'd definitely
> recommend Sam and Mridu. I'm grateful for their
> help and happy to know them.
>
>
>
>
>
> THE
> DAILY FINISH
>
>
> The person you are today? The things you
> today? You are going to be more of that and do more of that
> tomorrow. So if you want your life to change, your career to
> change, and your results to change? Change who you are and
> what you do today.
>
>
>
>
>
>
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